So, you read all the first post!

Thanks again for reading this far.  We are all trying to learn our place here, and I am still trying to work on the format.

 

I wanted to give you a bit of background on whats happening now and then as my mind wanders we will get glimpses into the past and other parts of me.   As I am just now re-entering this world again, last time I was aware at all was 2008, so please bare with me!

 

So, over the last oh say….LIFETIME, I have had several pervasive patterns of behavior that vary in intensity and severity depending on my stress levels.  Now that we have been able to more objectively look at these and analyze we were able to pout together a pattern….blah blah blah.  What the fuck! what a canned answer.  I don’t know about you but my awareness came like a fucking train wreck so to speak!  There was nothing entertaining or even remotely welcome about it.  For me at least, emotions rule the day, week, lifetime it seems.  To have an answer like that would have been insulting to everyone.  SO here is MY truth!  This can change with alters.  Oh, BTW, in most cases if the alters are cooperating, we will notated each entry with a D, P, or otherwise designated mark so you the reader can tell the difference!  Now, this won’t always apply as I can get hijacked and lets face it, they don’t always follow rules.  Ask the UK police as well as other law enforcement agencies in the US and abroad!  another day….

he school psychologist weren’t on a first name basisI had a complete breakdown in my therapist office, and even one of my alters, Pat, went to her office the day before without an appointment to confront her about my therapy!  Like I needed help being a jerk!  Not sure what all went down, but I haven’t been back since.  This happens a lot.  One of the alters will come out and act an ass, and then I FEEL like something bas has happened or get a newsflash, and then I carry the guilt forever.

So. back to the patterns, they were ever so obvious now, but then I was diagnosed with everything you can think of.  I went to more schools than grades, and moved more times than I can count on both hands.  We weren’t homeless, we were oil business gypsies.  My dad travelled chasing money and we went as baggage, or freight mostly.

I couldn’t keep friends.  I isolated.  I never went to a school where the school shrink and I weren’t friends.  Things were always just different for me.  I always wanted the shit other kids had, stable family life, friends, activities, history, but that just wasn’t in the cards.

So here we are in the modern 21st century with all of our smartphones and technology and we still cannot understand a disorder thats been around for hundreds of years and maybe more.

 

Lets investigate all of these things and then some as we move forward.  I will begin constructing the rest of the site as we go.  Let me know if you have things you want to see or questions that you have….cheers……….Kevin

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